I’m not sure when I lost it, but I’ll take a guess and say it was somewhere between September 2013 and January 2014: I forgot how to breathe properly.
Somewhere in that time, after we’d moved to England and I ran out of medication, I lost the ability to crack my back, to walk unassisted, and it appears, to breathe properly. I know breathing is an automatic process and I can’t control it, but I’m talking about *really* breathing, like as in *yoga breathing*.
I hadn’t really thought about it that much, but I’ve been trying out some yoga videos online, and I noticed I was having issues during the practice. I generally have a LOT of issues that need to be worked on, but this one was the most noticeable for me. I felt like I was holding my breath, when half of the process of yoga is to breathe properly.
After a few days of the issue, and consciously trying to control it, I decided to try something new: before pressing ‘play’ on the video, I’ve been taking 5 or 10 minutes to just lay on the mat, or sit in half-lotus, and get my breathing ‘right’. Or at least, get as close to ‘in, out, in, out’ as I can, consciously.
It’s funny that I’d have to work to control my breathing just because of, or for yoga practice. Although this is somewhat isolated, it might have been leading to other issues, and I just never noticed.
So far, the extra breathing before starting yoga has helped. I think that once I start getting into longer videos (right now I’m only in the 15-minute range) it might become easier to get into a groove with the breathing. I just have to make sure not to breathe too deeply at work: a long exhale could be seen as a sigh, which could be misinterpreted by a student (and it has been), which could lead to a bad review of a lesson. But that’s another story for a different blog. For now, I’m just working on controlling myself.