I don’t know about you guys, but I need a specific amount of something a lot like anger or being fed up before I can do anything, or make any kind of change. Am I alone on that, or is everyone the same? I wonder sometimes.

I wrote a blog on my personal site a while ago about how fed up I’d been getting with myself, for my sheer lack of being able to do ANYTHING. Did I tell you guys that I moved? That there was a break up? That I’ve been living closer to work and thought my entire schedule had changed? Well, all of that happened, and I’ve spent the past month (I moved on Oct 1) trying to get back into my life. And I know it’s been hard for me, and I haven’t been giving myself the proper amount of alone time to really deal with the things I need to deal with emotionally. But there’s just so much that needs to be done, I feel like I don’t even have time to think, let alone question what exactly it is that I’m thinking.

So sometime last week, I decided to recommit myself to a few things. One was to really take the next 30 days to STOP BITING MY NAILS, since it’s a bad habit that I picked up sometime last year. I’d like that to be a part of the past by January 1. I also decided that I need to get out and walk more.

That second thing shouldn’t be too much of a challenge, considering I can now walk to my office in the amount of time (less, actually!) than it used to take me to ride the bus from my old apartment on the outskirts of town. But I was making it an issue, because there is a street trail line that could also take me to work.

For the sake of my fitness AND my wallet, I need to walk more. Because, in all honesty, I can’t be mad at myself for not going running if I can barely bring myself to walk for 30 minutes. You know?

I need to apply this to my entire life, the fitness routine included. I want NOTHING more than to pick up with Zuzana Light’s Warriorz workouts (which are a lot like Bodyrock, since that’s where she comes from, but minus the sexy camera angles that come with letting your boyfriend hold the camera), but I know I’m not ready for them yet. I know I COULD jump right into them and just start and be miserable, and I’d probably see quick results. I know it, I know it, I know.

But I don’t feel mentally prepared for those things yet. Honestly, I don’t feel mentally or emotionally prepared for HALF of what I have to do on a daily basis… It’s not even that difficult of a workout, unless you count the fact that she doesn’t give you any time to take a rest between each workout, even though you technically rest each group while doing the other exercises.

Instead, I need to get myself back on track, period, to a point of actually doing a workout, however small, each day. And since I never really did too much with the last set of challenges I was doing, I’m going to start there. They are small like the 100 Workout we tested earlier in the year, and I think they are just what I need to get back into the swing of things.

So I am back to this workout for the week, and for now. And I am so miserably out of shape at the moment, that I could only get through this ONCE. You heard me, once. I had to rest afterwards. I could push myself, but since I know how my mind works and I know that I tend to get discouraged, I know better than to do too much today. Because tomorrow is going to come, and I’m going to do it at least once then, too.

And maybe tomorrow I’ll go for two times through, rather than one. Maybe tomorrow I will feel better. But today is Day One for me, and I am not going to push. Not yet.

I need to start small, even if every part of me KNOWS what I am capable of. Or how much I was doing even in the summer. I need to allow myself to take time, which is something I don’t think we like to let ourselves do too often. We all want fast results, and that is not something we should ever expect. The fast ones are far too often the wrong ones!!

As I said in my personal blog, I need to be able to walk before I can run. Both literally and figuratively speaking.

So if you’re looking to do some working out, or to get back into it and need some motivation, maybe you want to do this tiny workout with me each day. Maybe we can help each other. Maybe we can make it to two rounds next week. And maybe a month or so from now, we’ll be ready to take on Zuzana together. Or go running! What do you think?

Baby steps. Time is on our side. Bikini season is far enough away, right? ๐Ÿ™‚

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About germanymarie

I work hard, and I live hard.

One response »

  1. countrykay says:

    I’m with you girl!! Baby steps!! Picked up my treadmill last night and looking forward to getting back to things…one step at a time ๐Ÿ™‚ You can do it I know you can.
    P.S.I think that ‘overwhleming feeling’ crap was going around- it happened here too till I just finally said ENOUGH and cried forever about it and now I feel better and can scrape myself off the floor and go back to doing what I want and love. If I can do it I know you can ๐Ÿ™‚

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