I have been MIA. Well, not completely MIA. I’ve been keeping up with everyone else’s successes. They inspire me every day.
I’ve been dealing with, what I’ll call, heavy things. It never ceases to amaze me how our mental state affects our motivation and physical state. The things I’ve been dealing with feel a bit like drowning. I feel very fortunate to be a part of something so inspiring. It definitely helped me keep my head above water.
Many of us are dealing with heavy things. I know plenty of people dealing with even heavier things than me. It can really keep you down. I have been more tired lately (allergies aren’t helping, I’m sure). My back has been aching and I’m not sleeping as well as I was a few weeks ago … which is still a huge improvement from how I was sleeping a few months ago.
So, when Gavin is sleeping, I want to take a nap. It only ever ends up being a 45 minute nap — if that — because I have to get a shower and get dressed and prepare for the rest of the day. When he’s awake, there’s no such thing as relaxation. We just go-go-go. Still, my mind is filled with clutter, even though I’m definitely stronger mentally, emotionally and physically.
G-man keeps me moving and carrying him around is giving me guns! He also keeps me smiling. I just love that kid. He has no idea, but he saved me. He woke me up and showed me what love was. He’s the best thing I’ve ever done.
I think I’m heading into the next phase. I am the healthiest I’ve ever been. I need to eat more, actually, and I’ve been working on that. I know my metabolism is cruising along because I’m constantly hungry. I’m also drinking more water, but still not as much as I would like to drink on a daily basis. Ugh, and I still like to drink soda, but only once or twice a week.
GM is kicking ass in BodyRock and I need to get back in the game. She shared her results with me after 1 week and I was amazed. The progress is just awesome. So proud of her for getting past Day2 (crazy rep day). I really want to do BodyRock, but I also really want to get into running. I keep thinking I need to sign up for a 5k and train. I do better with a tangible goal.
Ideally, I’d like to add some yoga and bodyrock back into my schedule, but run/walk consistently. Now that I’ll be working from home, I can take a walking/running lunch break. Change is good!
Yes, you heard right. This full-time mama is going back to work, folks! For an awesome company that sees the value in allowing employees to work from home. I do my best work at home! It can get a little lonely, but that’s what play dates and dinners with girlfriends are for.
I’m excited to get Gavin in a daycare where he can socialize with other kids and maybe learn a little Español. I’m relearning it myself — thank you Rosetta Stone. I’m also excited to switch up my routine, get busy and get on another schedule. Oh, and it’ll be nice to contribute financially so I can buy myself some new clothes now that my old ones don’t fit!
It’s been weeks, maybe a month or two even, and I’m still hovering around 120 lbs. The last two days I’ve been at 118.5 lbs. I’ve been feeling crappy, but I know it’s because of my monthly visitor. Even so, I didn’t gain the usual 5 lbs and I think a lot of that is because I’m not craving all of the junk food this time around. I did ration the cookies my Mother-in-law brought during the last visit. She makes these amazing chocolate cookies with crushed walnuts. Mmm.
I think we all have things that get us down and times when we’re feeling low. What helps me is to remember that this is only temporary and the sun will shine again, damnit! It’s important not to beat yourself up because no one is perfect.
There’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
I am really lucky, too, to be surrounded by friends that really inspire me and love me for who I am. That’s why we started Fit Freedom in the first place!