What a CRAZY few weeks!! Do you ever feel like the weight of the world is sitting on your shoulders? I think the biggest thing for me is feeling like I’m climbing out of a hole but I just can’t quite reach or I’m just about to drown but I’m barely keeping my head above water. I kind of felt that way this past few weeks. I have felt like I had too many irons in the fire and not enough hands or energy to keep them all hot. I was doing a fine job juggling them though, at least I thought anyway.
My life is hectic from the time I wake up sometimes till way past the kids go to bed. I mean it’s 12 am and I’m sitting here alone in the quiet trying to empty my brain so I can get a good nights mornings sleep. Life is stressful and full of anxiety, I take on a lot always, some of my friends call me super woman because they have no idea how I do it most days. Honestly, neither do I, I just push & push & push, never letting up. Most times I know my limits, I know when I need a mental break, or a noise break or a physical break. I try not to schedule myself to crazy because I know that I can handle it but physically, mentally or even emotionally sometimes my body can’t. I often have to remind myself that I’m 30 now, it’s okay that I can’t run for 2 hours straight yet or that I can’t always multi-task as much as I used to. I’m just not as capable like I think I should be. Like my husband who’s got 14 yrs on me says ‘you ain’t no spring chicken’ anymore, slow down.
So, I had been feeling really overwhelmed & I kept thinking if I just get this project done and this project then I can take a break, thus me ‘pushing’ & ‘pushing’. unfortunately, my body let me know, before my mind had a clue what hit me. Late Sunday night I was not feeling well like perhaps I had caught a stomach bug & thought I might be sick. However, that was not the case, it was body letting me know that it had, had enough. I hadn’t rested enough, I wasn’t resting mentally, physically or more importantly emotionally. I woke up in a crumpled pile on the floor in the bathroom only to very slowly stand up and pass out again. I was burnt out & this is my body’s way of saying it to me when I, my mind, won’t listen.
After talking to the doctor & Michelle, whom told me to ‘rest & drink water’, I love you gals for always being supportive. You are amazing & it’s so nice to know it’s okay to rest. I sometimes feel like I grew up living by or believing this motto of ‘no rest for the weary’. Well, I was weary, very weary & I decided to take a few days off from my regimented exercise routine but still stayed on top of my good eating habits & water drinking. Water at this point was probably the best avenue for me anyway.
Monday I wasn’t really able to move real well, I was physically in a lot of pain due to the 2 spills I had in the night. I did manage to suck it up and do some small things but it wasn’t easy, I found myself napping frequently, imagine that resting?!
Tuesday & Wednesday where the same but I used my down-time wisely & did some much-needed computer work. So while not ‘doing’ a whole lot psyically I was still able to get a lot accomplished which was a very helpful with my ‘irons’. Wednesday night I felt up to bowling, which went well, aside from my scores.
By Thursday I was back to feeling like my old self again & I was feeling the urge in my muscles to move. I went for shorter walk & jogged a little, I really didn’t want to push it too much too fast & it went well. This morning, Friday, I got up decided before I started anything I was going to weigh and measure myself just to see where I was at. I kind of felt as though since I hadn’t done anything really for 4 days I’d probably have gained. Much to my surprise the scale read 179 and the tape measure read that I had lost average inch. I couldn’t believe what I was reading?! Really?! Could it be?? I guess that taking care of my body instead of beating it to death is a better plan… who knew?!?
I did do part of the Jump off Jiggle Routine mixed with some other toning exercises but desperately tried not to push myself too hard. I did notice that while working through the last part of my sets I kind of felt light-headed I immediately cooled down and relaxed, I spent the entire rest of today sitting either here at my computer or at my scrap-booking desk. Well, when I wasn’t playing or chasing or caring for my babies. Mental and emotional stress can take a hike when I just sit and scrapbook or cuddle my babies.
Plan for the coming week:
**Eat with portions like I have been with the 12-1500 calorie count (more like 1500 with everything going on) & continuing to drink water.
**Exercise slowly & build myself back up to my routines, I don’t think I’ve lost very much ground truly, I just don’t want to push myself because I know I’m not completely in the clear yet.
Here’s where I stand with Weight (lbs) and Measures (in)
Beginning Week 1: 198 – 46/40/45
End Week 4: 181 – 42/34/40
End Week 7: 179 – 40/33/39
Tomorrow is a new day & I will be out there walking, SMALL VICTORY!