I feel heavy today. My mind is so busy with family issues and stresses and sadness that I just feel heavy. It’s not helping that it looks foggy and dreary outside. Where is the sunshine when I need it? So, today I’m struggling.
I have all of the ingredients that I need for the Jillian Michaels cleanse that GM and I are experimenting with. I just have no motivation to walk into the kitchen and make my drink. I am disappointed in myself for missing Day 3 of my 100 pushups challenge, especially after being pumped from completing Day 2 after dreading it so much.
I feel downright depressed today and I will apologize in advance if I bring you down, too. That is never my intention. I’m not a “misery loves company” kind of person. I really enjoy seeing the light in others. It lifts me up when I’m feeling low.
Unfortunately, the only person that can do that for me today is my 1-year-old son. I say “unfortunately” because he doesn’t know that’s his job. Unless I make a real effort to get my act together every single day, it’s very easy for me to slip up and just focus on him and his needs — ignoring my own.
We celebrated his 1st birthday this past weekend and it was wonderful. He was such a good boy and I truly love watching other people love all over him. The party was a success and I’m thankful that it’s over … no more planning for this mama for a while! Whew!
But, just like with any party, the food was not the healthiest. I made a no-added-sugar carrot cake for my little man. He ate a slice and was happy with that. He loved the icing. Who doesn’t, right?!? I also made a pineapple upside down cake, which wasn’t too bad either.
Then there were cupcakes and lots of pasta dishes and candy and cookies and soda so on and so on. I can’t say that I over-ate by any means, but I sampled quite a bit of the wrong stuff. And I know it was a party and they don’t happen all the time, but what is it about these events that gives you a free pass to eat whatever the hell you want?
So, I think my unhealthy weekend is contributing to my overall crappy mood. Right now, I’m beating myself up a bit. It’s frustrating knowing I have to start all over again with my push ups, but in some ways I feel I have to start over with my perspective, too.
And I will.
Because we need to do that every once in a while. I’ll pick myself right back up, after I get over myself, and do it all again. Tonight, I’ve got yoga and it couldn’t come at a better time. It’s the perfect start to my week. I know it’s just what I need to get back on track. I could probably use an hour of meditation and breathing to deal with my heavy thoughts.
I’m grateful to have a place to share these thoughts because I know others struggle with situations like this, too. Just like I do.
Forecast for tomorrow — mostly sunny. Now, that’s more like it!
I feel fantastic! Class tonight was challenging and I kicked ass (my own ass). I am grateful for good friends that helped lift my spirits and a place like this to share my experiences.